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    JOB DESCRIPTION FOR A PARENT:
    
    POSITION:
    	Parent
    
    JOB DESCRIPTION:
    Long-term player needed for challenging, permanent work in chaotic
    	environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication
    	and organizational skills and be willing to work evenings and
    	weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts. There is some overnight
    	travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites
    	on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway
    	cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed.
    
    RESPONSIBILITIES:
    	Must Keep this job for the rest of your life. Must be willing
    		to be hated, at least temporarily.
    	Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
    	Must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule.
    	Must be willing to tackle stimulating technical challenges
    		such as small gadget repair, sluggish toilets
    		and stuck zippers.
    	Must handle assembly and product safety testing, as well as
    		floor maintenance and janitorial work.
    	Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate
    		production of multiple homework projects.
    	Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
    		for clients of all ages and levels of mentality.
    	Must be willing to be indispensable one minute and an
    		embarrassment the next.
    	Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality
    		of the end project.
    
    ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION:
    	There is no possibility or either. Your job is to remain in the same
    	position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and
    	updating your skills so that those in your charge can ultimately
    	surpass you.
    
    PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
    	None required, but on-the-job training is offered on a continually
    	exhausting basis.
    
    WAGES:
    	None. In fact, you must pay those in your charge, offering frequent
    	raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 and
    	attend college. When you die, you give them whatever income
    	you have left.
    
    BENEFITS:
    	There is no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
    	reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options.
    	However, the job offers limitless opportunities for personal growth
    	and free hugs for life!
    
    



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